Thursday, October 20, 2011

it's not about surviving the storm, but learning to dance in the rain

halloween is quickly approaching and as i sit here and type this i can see the material for the boys' costumes peeking at me from a pile of fabric. and yet, i can't seem to motivate myself to start them. i easily have at least a dozen excuses but really there's only one and it's been a tough week.

sunday was the 6th anniversary of Piper's birth and I'd like to say that it gets easier each year, but that would be a lie and there's no point in trying to fool myself or anyone else for that matter. the realization that this is simply what it is has hit me hard but i refuse to be knocked down.

i learned how to dance in the rain again a few yrs back but there are always spells where the storm seems relentless and i worry about being washed away, when song lyrics make me cry, and every little thing is a reminder of what could have been had she been born healthy.

but i need to be hopeful and feel brave, so i'm gonna put on my red cape, bake some cookies, and watch for the storm clouds.